In Part 1 of our story we learned of Lindsay's struggles to achieve pregnancy and her choice to pursue adoption.
Our clinic only offered closed adoptions. We weren't cool with that either. We want these children to have access to their full medical history, where they came from, what they may look like and most importantly, that they've always been wanted.
After several months of paperwork and doctor appointments, we ended up going with an open adoption through Snowflakes. We fell in love with a couple from Kansas City. They have an amazing love story but there’s something missing. They want to be parents and have been trying for 10 years. Today, her doctor thawed the three remaining embryos, one didn't make it, but the other two looked great and were transferred.
Tears are running down my face as I type. I feel a roller coaster of emotions. I feel a sense of guilt and loss. I’m not sure if that’s because I think that’s the way I am supposed to feel as a mother or what. The greater part of me feels like a hero. I feel selfless, amazing and strong.
Today Rick and I may have made a difference in the lives of two incredible people who deserve to be parents. This wasn't a decision we took lightly. The entire process took nearly a year, and we had many lengthy conversations. We have no regrets. From the beginning, I knew I could handle giving them up and giving them a shot at life more than I could handle destroying them.
Our decision isn't right for everyone. I respect the choices others make but for us, this was absolutely the right one. I won’t lie. There may be emotional adjustments along the way but we (Rick, Lara, Brian and I) will talk openly. If I have to cry, I will cry.
The journey of fertility is tough, emotional and life changing. It opens your mind and presents decisions and hard challenges you didn't know you were equipped to deal with. From the bottom of our hearts, we truly hope and pray Lara and Brian receive their gift of family.
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